We humans have some strange ideas at times. We often see other people doing things that make no apparent sense. For example:
- A person so afraid of learning to swim that they end up drowning when they accidentally fall in a lake.
- The husband fearful of losing his wife who becomes controlling and so loses her love and respect.
- The diner who is served a bad plate of food who tells the enquiring waiter that the meal is delicious.
It’s usually easy to see these failings in others. It’s much harder to spot our own patterns of avoidance, denial and poor reasoning.
Why do ideas get Fixed?
Usually, these patterns of thought and behaviour have a purpose. Our ancient ancestors faced real existential threats – one wrong decision meant death – and so we have developed social rules and deeply ingrained ways of thinking to keep us safe. At the same time, however, they may limit our choices, or make us behave in ways that to an outsider appear completely irrational.
If that irrational idea isn’t very important – for example, a fear of house spiders – it won’t hold you back in life. But other common fears like asking for what we want, public speaking or meeting new people can really limit us. For some people, such as those experiencing agoraphobia, they can become crippling.
Acceptance and Commitment theory calls this type of fixed thinking ‘cognitive fusion’. We all do it, all the time and we are often not aware of it. It’s one of the six ‘core processes’ in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or Coaching (ACT and ACC).
Defusion
One of the ways in which someone can improve their life through ACT/ACC is to identify these fixed ideas and then free themselves from responding to them in the same way every time they come up. They are, after all, just thoughts. We can choose whether we believe them or act upon them.
This process of ‘defusion’ is actually quite simple, but often over time the fused ideas have cemented themselves in your mind. It takes time and practice to develop the flexibility to treat ideas as thoughts that are not absolutely set in concrete. We have to learn to be able to take note of our other thoughts (particularly when under stress) and to act in a different way. A way which, hopefully, better suits our needs.
Defusion can involve a lot of different techniques, including physical or spoken metaphors designed to help a person understand the nature of ‘thoughts as thoughts’ and to be aware of their impact. People can also use exercises that help develop the sense of the ‘self’ in which these ideas act as helpful tools rather than slave masters.
If you are interested in finding out more about defusing from fixed Ideas, there are some great examples by ACT ‘guru’ Dr. Russ Harris, author of ‘The Happiness Trap’ here.
Acceptance and Commitment coaching can help you explore your own ‘fixed ideas’ and develop greater flexibility in your everyday life. You can develop greater choice over how to respond to the world by better understanding the way you think. You can then perhaps start to do things you did not previously consider possible.
